Song credit: “Best of All Our Days” by Andrew Simple
David’s Story
Generational sessions are so powerful. There is so much beauty in the varied relationships between little ones and their parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents. Each one holds such a unique bond and energy that is not had anywhere else. Lately in Family Stories sessions I have been really encouraging the inclusion of extended family in sessions and my husband, David, mentioned something one day about how much it hurts him to watch these generations together when his own is incomplete. His mom passed away in 2013. Not a day goes by that the emptiness from her absence is not noticed. He wanted a generational session but he wanted her to be part of it.
When we talked about going to his grandparents’ house to capture their story, we wanted to capture two important perspectives: what Grampa’s normal day-to-day routine was like (he loves his coffee cake muffins with “reduced” sugar) and how David appreciated them for the impact they have had on the lives around them. There was one more piece I knew I had to fit in: his mom needed to be part of it somehow.
Our daughter was getting crabby at nap time so he bounced her around in the living room until she dozed off in her favorite place to be – in Daddy’s arms. He got comfy on the couch, and if you’ve ever had a sleeping baby on you know that is nearly impossible to stay awake. As their breathing slowed and they melted into each other, I looked above the couch they were resting on and saw the pictures of family members surrounding them on the walls. In the same room, Grammi had a shelf to commemorate David’s mom. And as he laid there embracing his precious baby girl, I saw the tattoo of his mom’s face looking up at him in pride the same exact way she did on our wedding day. I felt all of that love and interconnectedness of loved ones embracing them in that moment.
You may be wondering what all this has to do with the title of the blog. I want to start with a short story. When we announced our first pregnancy, we gave a gift to Grammi at Christmas that was a picture of a bear with the caption “Beary Special Great Grandmother.” She smiled and said thank you and was about to move on without even realizing what it said. Looking back, she said she just thought it was saying she is a phenomenal grandmother. That stuck with me, both as a wonderful memory that makes me smile and a much deeper insight into what it is to be a great grandparent. I cannot do justice to the story that David tells in his own words through this story so I will take a piece from his narration:
“You continue to teach us all so much in the way you look with love at the lives you helped create. Through the love, through the loss, your simple and graceful ways carry the memories of this family. Time passes and pictures fade but your love endures forever.”
