I’ve heard, “It takes a village to raise children.” I thought I didn’t have one.
Raising three children has been one heck of a struggle so far. When postpartum depression rears its ugly head, it feels impossible to crawl out of it. When I do, the constant stress from noise and being needed 24/7 can be exhausting and defeating.
I have a very supportive mother who does everything in her power to help me. My dad comes over when I need help. My husband loves me to an extent I never imagined was possible until I met him. I have loving support from my family, yet I still felt a deep loneliness on this journey of motherhood without the “village” that I perceived to be lost in our disconnected, social media culture. You know what I’m talking about. The parents who have family coming over constantly to help raise their children. Neighbors who stop by just to see how you are doing. Someone to call on who will come help at the drop of a dime. In complete honesty, I was sitting here brooding in pitty, feeling utterly sorry for myself that I don’t have a village. Then it hit me…
What was I talking about?! I DO have a village.
It came to me in a way I was not expecting. It happened slowly, so gradually that I didn’t even notice it was right in front of me. It’s not a village like I expected from the days gone by. Many of the people in my “village” have families of their own that keep them busy. Some of them live far away. There are even people who I don’t know very well but when I met them I felt an instant connection that told me this is someone I need to spend time getting to know. So I can’t have a block party with these people but man, is there a lot of love and support around me.
Now that I’ve realized this treasure that has been in front of me all along, I need to work on not feeling guilty asking for help, in person or through conversation. Each one of you is helping me in big and small ways to get through each day and be the best mother I can be.
Thank you for the meals you brought to me when I was recovering from childbirth. Thank you for the card you sent on my birthday. Thank you for inviting me for a playdate or for chatting with me at a gathering.